relationship self assesment
How do you feel about your relationship? Does it bring you passion and joy? Is it a relationship based on convenience? Are you planning your escape? If you took a relationship test, where is your relationship now, at this very moment?
​
By stepping back and asking yourself these questions – not from a place of judgment, but from a place of pure awareness – you can take a more honest relationship assessment, and really ask yourself if this is where you want to be.
​
The reality is, there is always room for improvement. No relationship ever plateaus. It’s either growing, or it’s dying. And by recognising where your relationship is at right now, you can determine how to take a more proactive approach towards creating the relationship that you desire. And it starts with making the smallest shifts. Much like dropping a stone into a pond – at that moment, it may just appear like an insignificant splash. But if you watch what happens, that small action has a ripple effect that extends outwards. And if you do it continuously, the continuous concentric circles will build up to create the waves of a new life.
​
So where is your relationship? To help you make your relationship assessment, Alana lays out The Six Stages of a Relationship. Which of the following stages best describes the current state of your relationship?:
​
STAGE ONE: LOVE AND PASSION
​
This is the ideal position, the one that every single one of us crave. It’s a relationship filled with passion and love, not a relationship test. You and your partner are completely engaged in one another. You desire each other. The intimacy is immense. You are in tune with each other’s needs and are acting on behalf of serving those needs. You have a connection that is strong and so electric that you feel it even when you are not in each other’s presence.
STAGE TWO: NOT ENOUGH connection
​
In this position, you and your partner are in a relationship where there is love, and perhaps some passion, but by no means is there enough. There is not a level of intimacy that you really desire deep in your soul.
STAGE THREE: A RELATIONSHIP OF CONVENIENCE
In position three of this relationship test, you are in a relationship where, if you are really honest with yourself, you know it’s not the right relationship for you. But you stay because it is convenient. You stay because you have kids, because you have mutual friends, because of finances. You don’t want to go through the pain of separation. You may still care for each other, but it’s nothing close to position one or two.
STAGE FIVE: YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT WANT TO BE IN ONE
You may not be in a committed, exclusive relationship, but you desire this connection. You are craving this intimacy and this bond with a partner. You have hope. You have faith. And you are open to finding your partner and establishing a real relationship with him or her.
STAGE SIX: YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP AND DON’T WANT TO BE IN ONE
In this last and final position, you are not in a relationship and have absolute zero desire to have a partner. In order to be in position six, you’d have to have certain beliefs about a relationship. You’d have to be living with the data of the past instead of the present moment. You’d have to be in a suffering state because you are essentially letting fear guide your decisions. You are not allowing openness or courage or love or awe or curiosity to lead you.
