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Rejection and abandonment - the primal wound

Updated: May 4, 2020

When we experience rejection and abandonment it can cut to the core and truly bring us to our knees. When I left my relationship of 7 years I most certainly felt deeply rejected, not only because there were elements of feeling rejected from my ex, but more profoundly how I had abandoned or rejected myself in order to stay in a relationship that was deeply hurtful, filled with betrayal, and one that I was so unhappy in for so long.

We often focus and get very stuck on our ex and the choices that they made when a relationship ends but where all the essence and mastery lives is in the choices we made that created the path to where we ended up. There is so much power in conscious choices. But we often forget that out of deep core fears.

We abandon ourselves when we stay fearfully silent, we abandon ourselves when we stop revealing our heart and sharing its most darkest fears but also our brightest light. We abandon ourselves when we give up our hopes and dreams to hang onto a broken relationship, we abandon ourselves when we accept not being seen, we abandon ourselves when we stop showing up.

So many of these aspects are so loud in reality in the lead up to a break up, but often we had turned the volume down on that gentle whisper in the heart, called your truth. That knowing this it was just not right anymore and not meant to be out of fear of awakening that core wound of abandonment.

We all know that voice within, that sometimes is barely a whisper, sometimes it's yelling in our minds and hearts and we can still find it impossible to take action.

Sometimes we stay in relationships because we are afraid to be alone, or have a deep fear that no one will love us again, but this thinking and feeling comes from a place of self abandonment of not seeing yourself for who you truly are or your deeper truth.

Self abandonment stems from the wounded inner child, who feels unseen, scared, hurt, rejected, abandoned and fearful. We hang onto the relationship out of a deeper need to feel safe. We look towards our partners to feel a sense of safety and security that another person can never actually fulfill.

Break-ups trigger our deepest wounds, but they can also be our breakup to break thorough, that opportunity to attune to that whisper, and peel back those layers of true remembering of what it feels like to be seen, not by others, to be seen by you. To be your own witness to the endless love you already have within you. When you attune to this endless love and give up the control of self abandonment and all the harmful behaviors that go with it, then and only then do you have the chance to love another.

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